Thought-out Education

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A Message from the Kalever Rebbe
for Parshas Terumah

We must turn our children toward Torah with a clear mind, and not with anger

Students in front of the Shul of Rebbe Yitzchok Isaac of Kalov

Students in front of the Shul of Rebbe Yitzchok Isaac of Kalov zy"a. (old postcard)

"The Cherubim should be made as a thought-out work" (Exodus/Shmos 26:1)

When my holy ancestor Rebbe Yitzchok Isaac of Kalov zy"a was hired to serve as Chief Rabbi of the town of Kalov and the surrounding areas, the situation of proper observance of Judaism in this area was in a very lowly state. However, he intelligently devised various methods in order to influence the community to improve their lives and to bring their hearts closer to Hashem and to His Torah. By these efforts, he was worthy to influence the entire community to improve their devotions.

When my holy ancestor found out that mixed dancing was common at weddings in this area, the Rebbe announced to the Jewish community that he planned to attend every Jewish wedding in town from the beginning to the end of the wedding, and he also made a decree that only one wedding may be planned in town on any given evening. He set aside time from his valuable and precious time in order to attend every wedding, and he led every dance, in order to ensure that no mixed dancing took place, and in fact he inspired the people to love the Creator through his famous sweet Hasidic tunes.

My holy ancestor also immediately established a "Torah Study Society", because he was worried to ensure that the youth who study Torah should have all of their needs met, and he encouraged the youth to study Torah.

Through these efforts, my holy ancestor was able to properly fulfill that which is said over in the name of his Rebbe, the holy Rebbe Shmelke of Nikolsburg zt"l, who explained the Scripture "learn well" (Isaiah/Yeshayah 1:17), that the term "hetiv" (well) is a terminology of cleaning and preparing - as we find in Scripture concerning the preparation of the Menorah "when you well-prepare the lamps" (Exodus/Shmos 30:7) - meaning that the parents and teachers need to learn how to cleanse and prepare the souls of the children, so the Jewish souls should be illuminated with the Light of Torah.

This concept is even more relevant when the youth experienced traumatic experiences, which could cause them to be less careful in their observance. At such a time, one must contemplate well how to influence them to return to the proper path, as we find for example in the records of the local ordinances of in the era of the Association of the Four Countries ('Vaad Arba Arotzos'), that after pandemics which caused the yeshivos to be closed, the Rabbis gathered together and developed a plan how to return the crown of Torah to its former state, and they legislated various new ordinances in order to ensure that the laypeople would give enough means to ensure that the youth who study Torah should have all of their needs met and be encouraged to study Torah, and so too they established other various ordinances in order to strengthen the yeshivos. (For example, see Takanos Medinas Mehrin 388 and 569).

In such difficult times, we need to be careful to ensure that our minds are in control of our emotions, and all educational lesson plans must be carefully thought out and planned, and not to allow feelings of anger that sometimes are aroused against children when they fail to conduct themselves properly to overcome one.

Anger from parents and teachers against children can do tremendous damage, and destroy them, and this causes them to make bad friends, and this is the main cause of when children leave the proper path of Torah in our times.

Therefore, our Sages warned (Gittin 7a) that when a person tells his family members to prepare for Shabbos on Friday, which is a time when the Yetzer Hara tries to tempt a person to get angry, he must speak to his family members in a peaceful and pleasant manner, in order that the family members should listen to him, as Scripture teaches "wise words are heard when told in a pleasant manner" (Ecclesiastes/Koheles 9:17).

When rebuke is given in an angry manner, the rebuke is not accepted. Therefore, our Sages say "one who is impatient cannot teach" (Pirkei Avos 2:5), and in Sefer Chasidim (306) a story is told of a certain sage who insisted on firing a teacher who was often angry in the middle of the semester and hiring a new teacher.

Rav Chaim Vital zy"a explains in his Sefer Shaar Ruach HaKodesh (p. 11) that when he was teaching his brothers and they did not teach in the way he wanted, and his Rebbe the Arizal insisted that he should never be angry at them at all. Therefore, Rav Chaim Vital wrote in his teachings (at the end of Sefer Etz Chaim) "even when you rebuke your children, never be angry with them at all".

Along these lines, the Rambam wrote (Hilchos Deios 2:3) that it is worthwhile for a person to distance himself from anger to the furthest extreme, and not even to be angry over an issue which is proper to be angry about, and if he wishes to inspire the fear of God into his children and family, in order to inspire them toward self-improvement, he should only pretend to be angry, but not actually be angry in his heart, and in this manner his face may appear angry but he will not have actual anger in his heart.

My holy ancestor Rebbe Tzvi Elimelech of Dinov zt"l (Hosfos Mahartz"a 2:37) wrote that even though the earlier authorities wrote that one may rebuke his children with pretend anger, one must be very careful about using this device, because the Yetzer Hara could influence a person to use this permission to pretend to be angry, and eventually influence a person to actually have anger in their heart slowly but surely.

The proper manner to address this is that which Rav Chaim Vital wrote in his Sefer Shaarei Kedusah (1:6), "the general cure to be rescued from all illnesses of the soul is to always remember that you should never hurry to do anything or to say anything, until you think about this carefully whether or not to do this thing, because haste leads to regret, and there is often no way to fix the damage done by haste."

Along these lines, my holy ancestor Rebbe Yehudah Tzvi of Rozla, author of Daas Kedoshim zy"a, wrote that "if I am approached by an issue which seems to be worthy to show anger, I push it off for an hour or so, because nothing is ever lost by pushing off anger".

It is possible to say that this is hinted to here with the construction of the Holy Ark, which was commanded to have two Cherubim made on top, which looked like children. They needed to be made from a single piece of gold together with the kapores which was on top of the holy ark where it was placed a Sefer Torah and the Luchos HaBris, to hint that the Jews need to attach their children to the Holy Torah in a manner which will not be moved. According to this, Scripture warns "Cherubim should be made by a thought-out work", the work of attaching the children to the Torah path must be well-planned and thought out.

 

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